


Captain Jack’s a Giant Face?

by sabraneadaz



Series: A Series of Unfortunate Crossed Timelines [2]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Crossing Timelines, Extended Scene, Friendship, Gen, Light Angst, Missing Scene, Multiple Doctors (Doctor Who), New New York (Doctor Who), Past Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler, Pre Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan, Pre-Relationship, Screenplay/Script Format, Team as Family, Tenth Doctor Era, Thirteenth Doctor Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:48:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23994025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabraneadaz/pseuds/sabraneadaz
Summary: THIRTEENWe’re in New New York. Why are we in New New York. Why’s the TARDIS brought us to New New York?GRAHAMS’there an echo out ‘ere?
Relationships: Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler, Thirteenth Doctor & Yasmin Khan & Graham O'Brien & Ryan Sinclair, Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan
Series: A Series of Unfortunate Crossed Timelines [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1729729
Comments: 4
Kudos: 62





	Captain Jack’s a Giant Face?

**Author's Note:**

> [read on tumblr](https://folieassdeux.tumblr.com/post/617179672439078912/captain-jacks-a-giant-face-by-elektratios)
> 
> you can find me on tumblr at [folieassdeux](http://folieassdeux.tumblr.com/)

**A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE CROSSED TIMELINES: II**

**EXT. NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW YORK**

**THIRTEEN, RYAN, YAZ,** and **GRAHAM** are halfway up a vibrant green hill.

**THIRTEEN**

We’re in New New York. Why are we in New New York. Why’s the TARDIS brought us to New New York?

**GRAHAM**

S’there an echo out ‘ere?

**THIRTEEN** kneels down, eats a piece of grass.

**YAZ**

Doctor…

**THIRTEEN**

Five billion and twenty three.

**YAZ**

What?

**THIRTEEN**

Why has she brought us here? To this year?

**THIRTEEN** licks her finger and holds it out presumably to test the wind.

**RYAN**

You’ve been here before?

**THIRTEEN**

Yeah. Ages ago. Never thought I’d be back here again.

**THIRTEEN** turns back, runs down the hill to the TARDIS. **YAZ,** **RYAN** and **GRAHAM** share a look, and **YAZ** runs after her.

**THIRTEEN** and **YAZ** are out of earshot of the others.

**YAZ**

Doctor, what’s going on?

**THIRTEEN**

We shouldn’t be here, Yaz. There’s another version of me already here. Up that hill.

**YAZ**

Is it the same one we met before? On the Inprocerus ship?

**THIRTEEN**

Yeah. Same one. No Martha though, too early for her.

**THIRTEEN** sonics the TARDIS, frustrated. She tries the door but it doesn’t open.

**THIRTEEN**

She’s locked me out. She never locks me out.

**YAZ**

(thinking hard)

Maybe we’re here for a reason. There must be something we have to do.

**THIRTEEN**

Maybe. She’s not gonna let us in any time soon. We’d better look around.

**THIRTEEN** starts to walk in a different direction.

**YAZ**

Doctor. Wait. If we’re here at the same time as a past version of you then that’s where we should start.

**THIRTEEN** stills. A pause. She turns around, but won’t meet **YAZ** ’s eyes.

**THIRTEEN**

Yeah. You’re right. C’mon.

**THIRTEEN** strides up the hill at a fast pace, walking past **RYAN** and **GRAHAM** without a word. **YAZ** rushes to follow her, and she exchanges a glance with **RYAN** and **GRAHAM**. She shakes her head.

**RYAN**

(to **GRAHAM** )

Watch out.

**GRAHAM**

(to **RYAN** )

We can’t just have one relaxing trip, eh?

**THIRTEEN** is crouched at the top of the hill behind some bushes. In the distance, beyond a river, is the futuristic metropolis of New New York. **YAZ, RYAN,** and **GRAHAM** crouch beside her.

A TARDIS materialises in front of them.

**GRAHAM**

Guess that’s you then Doc?

**THIRTEEN**

Yeah.

**YAZ**

Who’s that coming out of the TARDIS?

**ROSE** emerges, closely followed by **TEN**.

 **THIRTEEN, YAZ, RYAN,** and **GRAHAM** , are too far away to hear more than snatches of the conversation.

**THIRTEEN**

A friend.

**GRAHAM**

She travel with you, Doc?

**THIRTEEN**

Yeah. For a bit.

**RYAN**

Clothes are a bit old-school.

**THIRTEEN**

She was from 2005. Same age as you two, actually. London.

**YAZ**

Are you alright?

**THIRTEEN**

Yeah. I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?

**YAZ**

(she hesitates)

No reason.

In the background, **TEN** reaches down to pluck some grass.

**ROSE**

(distantly)

Apple grass…

**YAZ** plucks a piece of grass and sniffs it.

**THIRTEEN**

Don’t eat it. Tastes rubbish.

**RYAN**

What are we sitting around for? Let’s go introduce ourselves.

**THIRTEEN** grabs his arm a bit roughly to stop him from rising.

**THIRTEEN**

No.

**YAZ**

We’ll have to eventually.

**THIRTEEN**

No. Not today. Not this day. There must be something else we’re here for.

**GRAHAM**

Doc. I think Yaz is right.

**THIRTEEN**

(losing her temper)

I said no! I’m not erasing their memories of this day. And she can’t see me. Not today. Not ever.

**YAZ** and **RYAN** exchange a glance. They know they’ve touched a nerve.

**THIRTEEN**

It would be too cruel… Or maybe it’s cruel not to. I’m not sure anymore. We’ll go inside the TARDIS once they leave.

The three of them watch as **ROSE** grabs **TEN’s** elbow, leans in to speak to him.

**YAZ**

Can you do that? Just go inside the TARDIS when it’s his?

**THIRTEEN**

You know time doesn’t work like that, Yaz. Especially not in the TARDIS. She’s timeless.

**YAZ**

And it won’t set off some kind of intruder alarm or something? Surely it can’t be as simple as just walking in without him – you – knowing?

**THIRTEEN**

(under her breath)

You should meet my wife.

**YAZ**

What?

**GRAHAM**

This could take ages, Doc.

The four of them watch as **TEN** grabs **ROSE** ’s hand and they run, stumbling, across the grass. They stop in the distance on the next hill over, far enough not to be heard but close enough to be in view of the TARDIS. **TEN** lays his coat down on the grass, and they both tumble onto it, lying side by side. **THIRTEEN** is staring at the grass by her feet.

**YAZ**

(softly, in an undertone)

Doctor. She’s not just a friend.

**THIRTEEN**

No, Yaz. She’s not. Wasn’t.

**YAZ**

Is she your…your wife?

**THIRTEEN**

(startled, huffs a laugh)

No.

**GRAHAM**

(thinking about Grace)

What’s her name, Doc?

**THIRTEEN**

Her name was Rose. It’s silly. I’ve lived such a long time and I still can’t bear to look at her.

**RYAN**

You’re not facing this alone, Doctor.

**THIRTEEN**

(smiling sadly)

Thanks, Ryan. Thanks, fam.

They are interrupted by a scuttling sound to their left. **THIRTEEN** shuffles towards it in a crouch, and spots one of the metal spiders. **GRAHAM** follows her.

**THIRTEEN**

(quietly)

Ah, I should have known! Cassandra knew we were coming. She was watching us all along.

**GRAHAM**

What is that?

**THIRTEEN**

They’re surveillance devices which serve a particular master. They congregate in large groups and work to sabotage things together. Simple to deprogram individually.

**GRAHAM**

If they like to congregate then there’ll be others around, yeah?

**THIRTEEN**

Good point. They must be watching me and Rose.

**GRAHAM**

Can’t you stop it? With the sonic?

**THIRTEEN**

Don’t want to interfere with established events. This isn’t what we’re here for.

**RYAN**

Uh, Doctor…

**THIRTEEN**

Although, perhaps we’re meant to prevent a congregation of them from forming and wiping us out before we can get to the hospital. What’s the collective noun for metal spider servants anyway? A gaggle? A web?

**GRAHAM**

A murder?

**THIRTEEN**

That’s crows, Graham.

**RYAN**

Doctor!

**THIRTEEN**

Was is it Ryan?

**RYAN**

You need to see this.

**THIRTEEN** and **GRAHAM** return to the bushes, where they see a dozen or more spiders edging through the grass towards the TARDIS.

**RYAN**

You know, I’m so done with spiders. Never wanna see a spider again.

**GRAHAM**

Hear hear.

**YAZ**

They can’t get inside the TARDIS can they?

**THIRTEEN**

Nah, no way. They’d never get through her defences. Not intelligent enough for that.

**GRAHAM**

Thought you said they sabotage in large numbers?

**THIRTEEN**

Not the TARDIS though.

Just as she says this, the spiders start to heft the TARDIS up from the ground, struggling.

**YAZ**

They’re moving the TARDIS, Doctor.

**THIRTEEN**

I can see that, Yaz.

**RYAN**

We’ve got to stop them, otherwise you and Rose won’t be able to get home.

**THIRTEEN**

Working on it, Ryan.

**GRAHAM**

Doc, we can’t go out there or you, he, you’ll see us!

**THIRTEEN**

Yes, I know that, Graham, thank you!

**TEN** and **ROSE** stand up. **TEN** pulls his coat on. They set off towards the hospital.

**THIRTEEN**

Right. They’ll be out of sight in a min.

**YAZ**

The spiders are gonna have the TARDIS by then.

**THIRTEEN**

Yeah. Alright.

**THIRTEEN** rummages through her pockets. She pulls out two custard creams, a large cog, a toothpick, a pair of broken sunglasses, a banana, a copy of _Murder on the Orient Express_ , and finally, with a flourish, the sonic screwdriver. **RYAN** puts on the sunglasses. **GRAHAM** takes a bit out of the banana.

**YAZ**

What are you gonna do?

**THIRTEEN**

The spiders all stream live footage to the same source in that hospital which is also where they’re being controlled from. If I can hack into the shared network, I should be able to neutralise the spiders with orders to confiscate the TARDIS. But we have to be careful we’re not seen.

**THIRTEEN** turns to face the companions with a serious expression.

**THIRTEEN**

In a disused ward in that hospital there’s a piece of skin with a brain who has a slave-clone who is controlling these metal spiders to track me and Rose, all because her previous attempt to kill Rose at the end of the world by trapping her in a room exposed to the expanding sun failed. Meanwhile, a giant face who is actually Captain Jack sent me a message through psychic paper to impart some wisdom that will change the course of my life, even though it was only really scratching the surface. Meanwhile, the cat nuns are infecting cloned people with every disease known to human and alien kind by the year five billion and twenty three in that hospital which is breaking at least five hundred and ninety two separate ethical laws enforced in this galaxy, and that’s just off the top of my head. Me and Rose are going to cure and liberate those people and redeem-slash-defeat Cassandra while also accidentally setting into motion a series of events that turn New New York into a dystopia of drug-addicted slums and mutated viruses, with most people living in a never-ending motorway their entire lives with the threat of being violently killed by giant crabs, which is a problem solved by me, Martha Jones, and The Face of Boe thirty years from now. Our job is to deactivate these spiders so they can’t steal my TARDIS and jeopardise the entire series of events and the course of future history.

Questions?

**RYAN**

Loads.

**GRAHAM**

So many.

**YAZ**

Captain Jack’s a giant face?

**THIRTEEN**

Good. Let’s get a shift on.

**CUT TO:**

**[MONTAGE:**

  * …Yaz throwing a handful of rocks at the TARDIS, to draw the spiders’ attention
  * …the Doctor sneaking up on a spider from behind, jumping on it and covering the eye.
  * …Ryan and Yaz working in tandem to throw a picnic blanket over two spiders.
  * …Graham eating the banana. He sees a spider. Panics. Smushes the banana on its head to blind it.
  * …the Doctor running up the hill from her own TARDIS, pockets bulging with tools.



**MONTAGE ENDS.]**

**CUT TO:**

**EXT. NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW YORK: SAME DAY**

**THIRTEEN** sits in the middle of a picnic blanket, fiddling with the innards of a spider. **GRAHAM** stands with his hands in his pockets. **RYAN** and **YAZ** sit opposite **THIRTEEN**. Next to them is a rolled-up blanket filled with wriggling, disoriented spiders.

**THIRTEEN**

Aha! Got it!

**THIRTEEN** sonics inside the spider, causing it to twitch as if in death throes, and then settle. The blanket stops wriggling.

**GRAHAM**

That was a bit too real for my liking.

**YAZ**

You’ve deactivated the network then?

**THIRTEEN**

Yeah. Every spider ordered to take the TARDIS is out of action for good.

**RYAN**

Won’t they wonder why they haven’t done their job?

**THIRTEEN**

(brightly)

Nah. They’re too busy trying to kill me right now!

**THIRTEEN** stands up, rolls the spider parts inside the picnic blanket, and hefts the other bulging blanket over her shoulder. She sets off down the hill.

**THIRTEEN**

(fading out)

I’m thinking we get rid of this lot by throwing them into the volcanic rivers of the Seventh Broken Moon of the Medusa Cascade…

With one last look back at the TARDIS, **GRAHAM, RYAN,** and **YAZ** follow **THIRTEEN** home.

**CUT TO:**

**EXT. NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW YORK: SAME DAY**

**THIRTEEN** is walking towards **TEN’s** TARDIS on the hill. She pauses a few feet away from the door. She steps forward and traces the white sign on the door, and then briefly grips the handle before pressing her hand flat against the wood. She rests her forehead against the door.

**THIRTEEN**

Hello, my beautiful ghost monument.

The TARDIS hums.

End.

**Author's Note:**

> [read on tumblr](https://folieassdeux.tumblr.com/post/617179672439078912/captain-jacks-a-giant-face-by-elektratios)
> 
> you can find me on tumblr at [folieassdeux](http://folieassdeux.tumblr.com/)
> 
> comments are my sustenance <3


End file.
